I have alluded to an incident that occurred at my son’s school, but haven’t gone into detail because I have been working on getting it resolved and have just not had the emotional energy to write about it. There have been several outbursts which could have been handled better by the teacher and/or TSS*, but they are both learning more about how to work with Michael as time goes on, and I feel that both of them want this year to be very successful for him.
The thing that is the biggest issue is that the school secretary got involved in one of the situations and ended up carrying him into a room. Because this qualifies as a restraint, it actually has to be reported to the department of education. Also, an IEP meeting is supposed to be held within 10 school days unless I waive the meeting in writing.
The meeting was supposed to be Thursday (Friday was 10 days), but now it has been moved to Tuesday and allotted 15-20 minutes since we are evidently only talking about the restraint by the secretary. I’m going to email them back and say that we will need another meeting to talk about the rest of the issues that have arisen, and also that whatever we decide about how escalated situations arise needs to be added to the IEP in writing. I’m sure they’ll just love me, but I really don’t care anymore about that.
For anyone who is interested in the details, I’m copying the letter I sent to the Special Ed Supervisor after speaking with her the day after the incident. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
Thank you for calling on Friday; I appreciated the opportunity to speak with you regarding the incident that occurred at my son’s school on Thursday afternoon and, at your request, am emailing you my understanding of what happened. I am also copying the IEP team to keep everyone in the loop as we move forward.
The note in Michael’s daily communication folder on Thursday mentioned that the secretary had brought him into the music classroom when he didn’t want to go in, but wasn’t clear on exactly what happened, so I went in on Friday morning to discuss the situation with the school.
I have not spoken to everyone involved in this situation, but I did hear about the physical intervention directly from the school secretary, Mrs. X. Evidently Michael had become quite upset during music class when a movement activity was introduced (this is a known trigger for him). Because a quiet space has not yet been identified in that classroom, the TSS took him out in the hallway to calm down, per the “Engine Level” chart we have in his IEP.
For reasons I do not know, Michael went from the hallway to his first grade classroom to “pull a card” (this is related to the school behavior plan; we are currently in the middle of an FBA to develop a Positive Behavior Plan for Michael). While he was there, the teacher talked to him about returning to music. The teacher reported to me that he said, “I would rather die than go back to music.” At some point, she called down to the office for the principal to come and talk to him. He was not available, and eventually Michael agreed to walk back to class with the TSS. Upon arriving at the music classroom, he became upset again and refused to go back in.
Since the principal was not available, the school secretary had come upstairs to assist with the situation and told me that Michael was lying down in front of the door to the music room. She stated that she told him he couldn’t stay there because it wasn’t safe and that he had to go into the music room. I was not told of him being given the option of returning to the quiet space, or any other options. She then picked him up under the arms and carried him into the room.
I understand that she was acting on her best instincts, but I feel this crossed the line both physically and emotionally. I need to feel that my son is safe when he comes to school each day, and it scares me that a situation can get so far out of control on just the fourth day of school and with a seven-year old child who is simply trying to communicate his distress in a way that will be heard by those responsible for him.
We need to respond to his behavior as a form of communication and to follow the plan agreed on in the IEP to handle the situation instead of escalating it by our actions. Then we can go back later to look at what we need to change to avoid his being triggered the next time he is in a similar situation.
I have followed up by phone with the principal, Mr. Y, who has apologized for the incident and assures me that there will be no further involuntary physical intervention with Michael. His case manager, Mrs. Z, and I will also be working with Ms. A, his autism consultant, to address the various other issues at work here with the staff and the IEP.
In speaking with Ms. A, she had said to me that this should be reported to the state as an incident of restraint. Mr. Y [the principal, in case you lost track of my assigned letters] feels that it did not go that far. I am not an expert in this area, and my primary concern is that we all acknowledge the inappropriateness of physically moving him and agree that any intervention of that sort would only take place in the face of actual immediate danger.
Again, I appreciate your time and concern for this situation. I am confident that as a team we can make the necessary adjustments to support Michael appropriately at [this school].
Any advice on how to keep my emotions on an even keel when they are changing daily (sometimes hourly) as I try to figure out how to deal with all the different issues this year has brought up so far is welcomed. It’s hard to really get my thoughts together because I get so upset when I start thinking about it all.
*TSS stands for Therapeutic Support Staff, and this is a person who provides behavioral support. They are not employed by school but are funded through Medical Assistance and directed by a Behavioral Specialist Consultant. The BSC does go to the school and will also be helping with this situation, but I didn’t mention her specifically in the letter.
{ 3 comments }
My heart is breaking for you right now. I am so sorry that this has happened with Micheal. He is such a beautiful and amazing young man and you are truly an amazing mom. Any mothers emotions would be on the edge right now regarding their child and what you have had to go through with this situation. I will continue to lift you guys up in prayer and this situation.
You’ve already done an excellent job with the letter, so just try to keep that tone in mind when you talk to them. However, it is okay, and completely understandable, for you to be upset about what happened. If you start to get upset, just tell them. Let them know how difficult this is for you and you hope they can understand. Take a moment, grab a tissue, whatever, you need to do. I think too much pressure it put on parents to be stoic. Of course it’s never a good idea to start yelling because that just shuts down communication. But if you get tearful or feel frustrated, be honest. And bring a friend if you need the support.
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I can’t imagine what you’re going through. What he went through and continues to go through. I don’t know that I have any particular advice that would help you in this meeting. I would have an incredibly difficult time holding myself up tight. You have to do what’s best for him though….
On the other side. Did I read right that you ‘happened’ to hear this from the school secretary. What if you didn’t ‘happen’ to speak with her?
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