It was recently suggested to me that I make a lot of my decisions out of fear, so this quote from Norman Vincent Peale caught my eye when I saw it the other day:
Fear can infect us early in life until eventually it cuts a deep groove of apprehension in all of our thinking. To counteract it, let faith, hope, and courage enter your thinking. Fear is strong, but faith is stronger yet.
One of my biggest motivators has probably been the fear of looking stupid. Ironic, because I am actually fairly intelligent. I remember my mother telling me, “For someone so smart, you sure are dumb!” when I couldn’t find something she sent me to look for in her bedroom. I think a lot of my unrealistic expectations for myself and others come out of the lack of guidance in my childhood.
For instance, if something doesn’t come easily to me, I can get very embarrassed or upset and will often avoid that activity. This come partly from the fear of looking dumb, but also from believing that I *should* be able to catch onto things quickly. That feeling of “it shouldn’t be this difficult” also leaves me wide open for getting easily frustrated with others when they aren’t able to do something or don’t respond the way I think they should.
I am learning that it is best to be straightforward about what you know and don’t know, what you can do and can’t do (yet), and that to just view that as looking at the facts, rather than as being a shameful thing. Even as I write this, I am thinking to myself, “Why even bother saying this? I’m sure everyone else already knows this and you are the only one who doesn’t get it.” But I’m saying it anyway because then I can hopefully move on from here to a better place in my thinking.
